[fanfic翻譯筆記] The Edge (Part 1 - Skating the Edge)

其實我有個喜歡一邊翻譯一邊怒吼吐槽的習慣，特別是在翻到一些Bella耍性子，Alice遇到不幸，或是正精彩時某角色打擾的片段。（對！類似Edward這類的角色！）加上個人只是個半路出家的憑興趣的翻譯者，功力還不夠，常常翻一翻看不懂很想撞牆。索性以後譯完後留下這類心得與筆記，好提醒自己日後回來修正好了。

篇名: The Edge：Skating the Edge (Part 1)
作者: Janine
主題: Twilight
配對: Alice/Bella
分級: PG-13 (some light sexual situations)
聲明: All characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer. I'm just borrowing them.
摘要:一天晚上Edward外出狩獵，Alice來到Bella的房間陪伴她，只是情況卻超出預期。
注釋: 故事發生在「New Moon」新月的夏季，「Golden Slumber」的續篇。

再次強調，我真的愛死Janine這個作者了！作品數量驚人，情節又豐富有趣，很能掌握人物個性。她筆下的Alice真是甜美又可愛。

"Oddly wonderful," Bella said grinning happily as Alice made her way towards her.
「奇怪又美好。」Bella因為Alice的拜訪十分驚喜。
「奇怪又美好。」Bella露出燦爛的笑容迎接Alice。

嗯，沒錯我偷懶了Orz。grin字典上的翻譯是露齒而笑，但這如果中文直翻，看起來不是很有美感。我想改成燦爛的笑容會更好？

"I'm not adorable," Bella protested, pouting in the most adorable fashion. Alice was adorable, she was just … Bella, plain and ordinary.
「我才不可愛，」Bella板著臉抗議，Alice很可愛，而她…只是Bella，樸素又平凡。

- - 事實上我愈來愈受不了Bella這種個性陰沉、貶低自己的性格，可能是因為為會讓我想起某人吧？

Bella breathed in, the emotion in Alice's voice touching her deeply. She knew that it was utter hogwash, that compared to Alice and Edward and Carlisle, and especially Rosalie that she was practically a troll,
Bella吸了口氣，即使知道比起Alice、Edward和Carlisle，特別是Rosalie，她根本是妖怪

- - 反正我看的是電影版，上述這些話絕對不成立！

she continued, her eyes flashing from their usual warm honey colour, to amber and then almost mahogany before they shifted back to honey once more.
一邊說著，她金色的瞳孔有瞬間轉為深紅，接著又恢復原本的光輝。
一邊說著，她金黃色的瞳孔轉為琥珀色，有一瞬間幾乎變成紅棕色接著再度恢復原本的色彩。

＊桃花心木Mahogany
人家說翻譯要信達雅，要選擇幾乎逐字的詳實翻譯，或是文字通達又合乎習慣用語的表達方式真是困難。

and I'll say it again and again until you believe me, you stubborn, stubborn girl," she said, the fondness in her voice taking away any sting that there might have been in her words.
而且我會一直說直到妳相信我。妳這個超…超…頑固的女孩。」說到最後一句時，她的語調變得淘氣。

似乎該翻譯成頑固又頑固的女孩，但現在這個翻譯我覺得更適合Alice這樣年輕少女的淘氣語氣。

"Oh, I don't know," Alice began thoughtfully, turning her head towards the window. "It's just such a lovely night out, warm, but not too much so. Perfect weather for … despoiling virgins," Alice continued grinning, lifting her hands up in front of her and curling her fingers into a hideous caricature of claws.

「噢，我也不知道。」Alice看著窗外思考。「今天晚上似一切都很美好、溫暖。正是個適合…引誘處女的天氣！」Alice一邊笑一邊彎曲手指放在臉旁， 裝做是可怕的爪子。

嗯，吸血鬼傳說或電影裡，吸血鬼的確偏好引誘處女，這段是Alice自嘲的玩笑。

"That was," Bella said, panting a little as she tried to catch her breath. "Without a doubt," she continued as Alice straddled her, looking down at her smugly, "the worst Wick Witch of the West impression I have ever heard," she continued smiling as Alice's expression turned from a smug grin into a pout.
「那真是，」Bella喘著氣說著。「我從沒想過…毋庸置疑地」騎在她身上的Alice得意地看著她，「是我看過最糟糕的角色扮演，」她微笑著看著Alice的一臉喜色轉為不滿。

＊Wick Witch of the West 西方女巫：童書”綠野仙蹤”裡的壞心女巫角色

Alice shook her head seriously. 「I was going to go with, 『I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you'.」
Alice嚴肅地搖了搖頭。「我正打算說，我是橡皮你是膠水，無論你說什麼都只會彈回去，並且黏在你身上。」

Orz，看不出有什麼典故，我只能直譯這段了。

"You're so full of it," Bella said, her voice much softer than she intended as Alice's fingers trailed lightly across her sides.
隨著Alice做出一個雙手交叉的動作，Bella軟化了，她忘記自己本來還想說什麼。

我又偷懶了（遮臉）